As the saying goes, "A dog will always eat shit." Although this saying is a bit vulgar, it accurately describes the deep-rooted habits and psychological patterns of some people. In "Goodbye Love 4", the story of Ge Xi and Liu Shuang reveals the struggles of many women in marriage and the psychological dilemmas of men.
Men's psychological shackles and habitual escape
In Hong Kong's fast-paced society, men are taught from a young age to become "upright and capable", but they often carry enormous pressure and fear in their hearts. They are afraid of failure and not being recognized, so they habitually choose to escape. Liu Shuang is such a typical example in the show. He doesn't dare to face the problems in his marriage and would rather pretend not to see them than take the initiative to change them.
Men sometimes fall into a "self-defense" psychological state, viewing their partner's criticism as an attack, further reinforcing avoidant and lazy behaviors. This pattern not only makes partners feel neglected, but also allows problems to accumulate, eventually leading to the collapse of the emotional relationship.
Women's expectations and men's defensiveness
Many women hope that their partners can be considerate and responsible, but the reality is often disappointing. In Hong Kong families, many men are more reserved in expressing their emotions. They are used to burying their stress deep in their hearts, but ignore the emotional needs of their partners. Ge Xi's repeated attempts at communication were met with Liu Shuang's perfunctory and evasive responses, which actually reflects the male's fear of being denied and lack of self-confidence.
Women often hope to encourage the other party to change through communication, but when communication becomes a pressure, men are more likely to close their hearts. This vicious cycle makes many women gradually feel lonely and desperate in their marriages.
Girl's inner monologue:
"You say you love me, but why do I always feel like there's a wall between us?" "What I want is not your money, but your company and understanding." "The sense of security I need is not a house or a car, but your willingness to become better for me."
Boys’ reflections:
Are habitual laziness and escapism caused by the fear of losing control through change? Have you ever noticed that when a girl stops complaining, she has begun to feel desperate about the relationship? Shouldn't a real man face up to his shortcomings bravely instead of hiding behind the excuse of "that's just how I am"?
Analysis of male psychology and behavior patterns
Men in Hong Kong are often taught to put their careers first and neglect the cultivation of their emotions. They are used to proving their love through actions rather than words. But this model often lacks warmth in the eyes of modern women. Liu Shuang in the show is a product of this traditional concept. His behavior seemed "harmless," but the long-term emotional neglect gradually destroyed their relationship.
Furthermore, society’s expectations of men compound this dilemma. They are required to be strong and rational, and even shy away from talking about their emotional needs, which results in many men not knowing how to manage intimate relationships and can only cover up their inner anxiety with avoidance and indifference.
How to break the vicious cycle?
-
Men need to face up to their own emotional needs and shortcomings. Having the courage to admit vulnerability is not cowardice, but a sign of maturity. Learning to listen and understand your partner is key to a healthy relationship.
-
Women need to learn to express their needs firmly while setting boundaries. Don't let your efforts become habitual sacrifices. Learn to make the other party understand your bottom line.
-
Both parties should grow and learn together. Marriage is not a competition, but a journey of mutual support. Take a course or consultation together to help both of you build better communication skills.
Change is proof of love
Love is not a one-sided effort, but a two-way effort. For women, it is important to learn to stick to their bottom line and bravely express their demands; for men, they need to reflect on their own behavior patterns, break the psychological shackles, and learn to express and act.
Conclusion
A dog can't change its nature, but a person has the ability to change himself. If you find yourself being ignored or treated halfheartedly in a relationship, don't be afraid to ask for what you want. And for men, please remember: women’s disappointment often begins when they see no hope again and again. Let us learn from the marriage story in "Goodbye, Lover 4" to respect each other's needs and no longer let lovers become "lone heroes" in marriage.
Love requires understanding and action. Don't let laziness and escapism become the poison in your relationship. Try to think from the other person's perspective and learn to nourish each other in the relationship. This is the secret to long-term happiness.
That woman, are you going to continue to tolerate him?
