Adults don’t need to be drunk to have intimacy: let go of the alcohol excuse and regain real emotional connection

Dec 17, 2024Author

In modern society, alcohol is often seen as a magic potion to break social ice and add interest. Many people believe that only after getting drunk can they let down their guard and engage in intimate activities without worries. However, is this idea really true? If you think drunken sex is an inevitable outcome, you may be missing out on many opportunities to build real emotions and intimacy. This article explores why adults don't have to rely on alcohol to facilitate intimacy, and provides some specific situational stories that will help you rethink love and sex from a different perspective.

Drinking and having sex: an excuse or a habit?

The phrase "sex after drinking" often appears in dramas, novels and daily life. However, does this mean that alcohol is actually a catalyst for intimacy? In fact, alcohol is not a necessity. On the contrary, many people cannot enjoy intimate activities when they are drunk, and may even feel nauseous or uncomfortable. As we see in everyday life, some people even say, "I had to drink a little before I dared to approach her." But this actually reflects a kind of dependence, not a true expression of emotion or sexual desire.

Situational story: Mr. Li and Xiaohui's acquaintance

Mr. Li and Xiaohui met at a friend's party and they hit it off immediately. Mr. Li found that Xiaohui was shy but had a humorous way of speaking, which made him feel good about her. That night, Xiaohui drank some red wine, while Mr. Li chose to stay sober. After three rounds of drinks, everyone began to relax. However, Mr. Li found that this did not help him get closer to Xiaohui. On the contrary, the alcohol made her more uncomfortable. At this point, Mr. Li chose to have a more sincere conversation with Xiaohui and understand her interests and values while she was sober. Ultimately, their relationship was not built on the catalyst of alcohol, but through real emotional communication and interaction.

Why is alcohol not necessary for intimacy?

1. Alcohol may affect physiological responses

Most people believe that alcohol can relax people and thus promote intimate behavior. However, for many people, alcohol affects the body's physiological responses and even causes certain physiological functions to not function properly. For example, excessive alcohol intake may cause erectile dysfunction in men, while women may feel physically ill or be unable to orgasm. Therefore, not only can alcohol not guarantee the smooth progress of intimate behavior, but it may also bring unnecessary trouble.

2. Sober response after being drunk

When drunk, people's judgment and mood swings are often unstable, and in such circumstances, it may be impossible to establish an emotional connection with each other. Intimate behavior after drinking is often based on the wrong situation. When you think back calmly afterwards, you may find that you were not sincere and even regret your decision.

3. Real emotions require clear communication

Building a healthy intimate relationship requires sincere communication. Alcohol is only used to relax people, not to resolve deep emotional issues. A true emotional connection requires two people to be able to understand each other's needs, boundaries, and expectations in a clear and sober state. Such communication is more lasting and stable than the short-term stimulation brought by alcohol.

Adults should learn how to build intimacy in sobriety

1. Build a healthy emotional foundation

Adults should not rely on alcohol to facilitate intimacy, but should learn how to build a healthy emotional foundation while sober. This means that two people need to respect each other, understand each other's emotional needs, and remain open and sincere. When the emotional foundation is solid, intimacy becomes a natural extension rather than a result of dependency or coercion.

2. Create the right atmosphere

Sometimes, alcohol isn’t necessary to create the right atmosphere for intimacy. For example, sharing a warm dinner with your partner, watching a movie together, or simply spending time with each other quietly can nourish the relationship. In such situations, intimacy is not fueled by alcohol, but is based on real emotions and mutual respect.

3. Pay attention to body language communication

Body language plays a vital role in intimate relationships. When sober, two people can better express their feelings for each other through eye contact, touch and smiles, and these expressions do not require alcohol to "open" each other's hearts. Learning to communicate through non-verbal means can make the relationship more genuine and profound.

Alcohol: A barrier to emotional connection

1. Emotional disorders

For some people, alcohol is a barrier to connection rather than a facilitator. In some cases, alcohol may cause one party to let down their guard and engage in involuntary behavior, which can be harmful to the relationship. And if both people can stay sober, their feelings for each other can be deepened in respect and understanding.

2. Consequences of alcohol dependence

A habit of relying on alcohol to facilitate intimate behaviors can have a negative impact on the emotional health of both people in the long run. Such behavior patterns can lead to a wrong understanding of emotions and sex, and may even make one party believe that love can only be expressed when drunk. Such a pattern cannot provide lasting support for a relationship.

Conclusion: Clarity, sincerity and respect are the keys to building intimacy

Adults don't have to be drunk to be intimate. Although alcohol can bring temporary relaxation, it cannot truly promote real emotional connection. True intimacy should be based on sincerity, respect, and clarity. When two people can truly understand each other and respect each other's emotional needs without relying on alcohol, such an intimate relationship will be more stable and lasting.

Putting aside the excuse of alcohol and embracing real emotional communication is the key to the longevity of every relationship.